is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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