she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
i think im in europe. pls send help
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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