i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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