If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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