You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
