Betty ford says i'm here all night
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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