i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I could make wine with my vomit
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
