Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.