just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.