You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.