drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
