All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
