i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
