I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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