Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
