No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We are two peas in an std pod
She's the barista slut.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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