You're my little dorito
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I think my moral compass just broke
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
