my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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