I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
