so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
