i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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