that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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