Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
No subtext here. People are naked.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Randomize
