They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
