my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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