I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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