I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
