I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize