just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
