I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
