oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
