I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
What a fucking waste of an outfit
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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