That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just gift wrapped bread.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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