i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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