So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
