she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
