He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The beers last night were like the tears from god
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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