It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
this just has baby written all over it
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
