So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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