I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
