walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
