dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
