So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
