remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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