Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i feel rough

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.

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  (617): i feel rough (617): just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE. http://tfl.nu/6foz
  Replies (24) Good night (773) Bad night (1845)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much

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  (817): So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much http://tfl.nu/mbp8
  Replies (2) Good night (557) Bad night (2157)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.

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  (708): I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event. http://tfl.nu/286m
  Replies (6) Good night (3607) Bad night (527)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs

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  (404): dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs http://tfl.nu/cgkd
  Replies (58) Good night (994) Bad night (12179)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.

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  (757): It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean. http://tfl.nu/z8cg
  Replies (22) Good night (705) Bad night (4626)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper

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  (773): That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper http://tfl.nu/zcg4
  Replies (3) Good night (1906) Bad night (738)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.

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  (740): I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing. http://tfl.nu/h581
  Replies (10) Good night (2356) Bad night (747)
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  (562): View more from California

  Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.

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  (562): Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid. http://tfl.nu/2ztg
  Replies (23) Good night (2048) Bad night (984)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.

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  (508): He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is. http://tfl.nu/qf8i
  Replies (8) Good night (818) Bad night (1531)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...

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  (845): My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's... http://tfl.nu/cszb
  Replies (1) Good night (762) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library

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  (949): I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library http://tfl.nu/jhv7
  Replies (3) Good night (582) Bad night (248)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.

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  (773): You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends. http://tfl.nu/9daq
  Replies (3) Good night (635) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces

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  (+61): I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces http://tfl.nu/enrv
  Replies (1) Good night (540) Bad night (215)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!

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  (603): Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless! http://tfl.nu/bxxj
  Replies (1) Good night (443) Bad night (256)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.

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  (832): He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room. http://tfl.nu/v57f
  Replies (0) Good night (248) Bad night (307)

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