Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  I mean not really

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.

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  (202): Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult. (1-202): I mean not really (202): Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible. http://tfl.nu/azl7
  Replies (25) Good night (3000) Bad night (870)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there

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  (504): i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there http://tfl.nu/461i
  Replies (4) Good night (2133) Bad night (625)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs

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  (305): nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs http://tfl.nu/o6hz
  Replies (27) Good night (5387) Bad night (849)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls

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  (301): I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls <3 http://tfl.nu/wgu0
  Replies (73) Good night (1711) Bad night (4132)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011

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  (919): I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011 http://tfl.nu/zxkw
  Replies (53) Good night (5895) Bad night (1257)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  critical mistake not lubing the nipples

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  (816): critical mistake not lubing the nipples http://tfl.nu/tm7j
  Replies (13) Good night (821) Bad night (2778)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.

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  (920): She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future. http://tfl.nu/bxh5
  Replies (7) Good night (1565) Bad night (930)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.

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  (803): I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it. http://tfl.nu/1xwb
  Replies (12) Good night (4475) Bad night (851)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?

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  (402): Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out? http://tfl.nu/j98q
  Replies (14) Good night (648) Bad night (2996)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.

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  (774): I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work. http://tfl.nu/gs7f
  Replies (3) Good night (479) Bad night (996)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..

  (707): View more from California

  WOAH TOO HIGH

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  (707): I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted.. (707): WOAH TOO HIGH http://tfl.nu/n7qo
  Replies (3) Good night (1074) Bad night (501)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero

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  (425): Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero http://tfl.nu/rxr0
  Replies (4) Good night (965) Bad night (336)
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  (209): View more from California

  Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?

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  (209): Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery? http://tfl.nu/cvq8
  Replies (8) Good night (581) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?

  (1-518): View more from New York

  ...you should fill the cart some more

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  (518): Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it? (1-518): ...you should fill the cart some more http://tfl.nu/ls8l
  Replies (3) Good night (593) Bad night (332)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.

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  (864): I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it. http://tfl.nu/yrj2
  Replies (0) Good night (334) Bad night (151)

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