Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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