It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
