I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
