you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
