saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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