Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
