We're facebook friends in real life
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Girls should come with a carfax report
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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