no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
