i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
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