it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
