I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
