I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
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Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
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You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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