I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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