saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
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Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
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I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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