Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
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I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
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Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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