I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
