That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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