you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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