this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
